Car 54, Where Are You?

1. 1. Who's for Swordfish?

   Sep 17, 1961

   In the pilot, the boys are desperate to angle for swordfish. After shift-swapping with the entire precinct and avoiding any issuance of tickets (to avert court duty), will they go?

2. 2. Something Nice for Sol

   Sep 24, 1961

   Gunther Toody drives the entire station batty chairing the committee to get everyone's favorite desk Sgt. Sol Abrams a surprise 25 year present. Toody keeps changing his little mind seeking the perfect gift, and insists on parliamentary procedure for meetings. Abrams' sore feet confine him to desk work, so he worries that it'll be 25 and out, if the brass find out how bad the precinct's sweetheart's hurting.

3. 3. Home Sweet Sing Sing

   Oct 1, 1961

   The boys use extraordinary techniques to rehabilitate a recently released petty thief. Unfortunately, Benny has other ideas.

4. 4. Change Your Partner

   Oct 8, 1961

   Toody and Muldoon's 9 blissful years as partners stun a researcher who finds the average prowl car pair last only 16 months before screaming to be switched. If the NYPD management engineer can discover their secret and replicate it, that'll save the blue brass many headaches. But Gunther and Francis' precinct mates don't want to know what actually goes on in Car 54, or even worse: can New York's finest clone empty-headed chatterbox Toody and somber, cerebral Muldoon ?

5. 5. I Won't Go

   Oct 15, 1961

   Introducing Mrs. Bronson, the sweet Jewish grandmother confounding the boys at the 53rd as well as New York City's bureaucracy.

6. 6. Muldoon's Star

   Oct 22, 1961

   Toody convinces 'Tessie the Torso', a buxom sex-symbol, to stay at Francis's mother's house. It turns out, Muldoon is a huge fan.

7. 7. The Paint Job

   Oct 29, 1961

   A car thieving ring is using an auto body shop to paint stolen cars and resell them. The 53rd is down to only two patrol cars, so the boys are desperate to keep their beloved car 54. When it's damaged by a pulled-over driver, they take it to the same repair shop.

8. 8. Love Finds Muldoon

   Nov 5, 1961

   Lucille plays matchmaker for Francis.

9. 9. The Gypsy Curse

   Nov 12, 1961

   The boys are told to shut down a gypsy ripoff artist, and when they do, the gypsy puts a curse on Toody.

10. 10. Thirty Days Notice

    Nov 19, 1961

    Gunther and Lucille Toody give their landlord notice because they're fed up with their crumbling apartment.

11. 11. Catch Me on the Paar Show

    Nov 26, 1961

    After a chance traffic stop with Hugh Downs, Gunther finagles an appearance on the Jack Paar show of a fellow officer he thinks is funny.

12. 12. The Taming of Lucille

    Dec 3, 1961

    Toody is feeling henpecked by Lucille, but musters the courage to become king of his castle after seeing a stirring performance of Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew."

13. 13. Put It in the Bank

    Dec 10, 1961

    The 53rd Precinct's Brotherhood Club's newly elected treasurer Gunther Toody is determined to invest their hard-earned $800 in the stock market despite the protests of his fiscally conservative colleagues.

14. 14. Get Well, Officer Schnauser

    Dec 17, 1961

    While Schnauser is laid up in the hospital, Toody is tapped by the FBI to go undercover to help them nab notorious bank robber "No Face."

15. 15. Christmas at the 53rd

    Dec 24, 1961

    The boys from the 53rd put on a Christmas review. Two Gilbert & Sullivan parodies featuring Capt. Block & Muldoon, a heart-tugging song from Toody, and other sketches.

16. 16. The Sacrifice

    Jan 7, 1962

    Muldoon's the big expert on rules and regulations, but he's scared to take the test to become a sergeant.

17. 17. Boom, Boom, Boom

    Jan 14, 1962

    The boys are attempting to win the barbershop quartet competition for "the old man" Capt. Block. The rules require all 163 quartets to perform the same song, which drives poor Jan Murray to insanity.

18. 18. Toody & Muldoon Crack Down

    Jan 21, 1962

    After the police chief drives through Toody & Muldoon's sector, he's so angered by the scores of violations he sees he orders an investigation - with surprising results.

19. 19. Toody's Paradise

    Jan 28, 1962

    Toody is on an undercover detail in Brooklyn with a female cop as his wife and a small boy as his child. When Lucille's sister spots him there, the rumors start flying wildly.

20. 20. How High Is Up?

    Feb 4, 1962

    Muldoon discovers he's grown an inch to 6-foot-seven, putting him one inch over the police regulation and putting him over the edge with paranoia about his height.

21. 21. Toody and the Art World

    Feb 11, 1962

    Toody is the only person who can appreciate Karpathia's abstract masterpiece, "Lower Manhattan at Sunset (from the New Jersey Side)." This episode features an inspired performance from Severn Darden.

22. 22. What Happened to Thursday?

    Feb 18, 1962

    The 53rd is embarrassed by the domestic dispute calls that come every Thursday night - from the Schnausers. Toody convinces Leo (along w/the rest of the boys) that Thursday's actually Friday leading to expected hilarious confusion.

23. 23. How Smart Can You Get?

    Feb 25, 1962

    The smartest rookie cop is assigned to ride w/chatty Toody & reticent Muldoon. Can Car 54 survive, now that Muldoon has stimulating conversation?

24. 24. Today I Am a Man

    Mar 4, 1962

    Tired of being stereotyped as a mama's boy, Muldoon feigns having a hot date at "the hottest club in the Bronx". When his bluff is called by doubting coworkers, he quickly commandeers a puritan family who gets the wrong impression from his weapon!

25. 25. No More Pickpockets

    Mar 11, 1962

    The boys go under cover at Yankee Stadium to stem the onslaught of pickpockets. One skilled pilferer turns the tide on Toody; who ends up arrested?

26. 26. The Beast Who Walked the Bronx

    Mar 18, 1962

    Burkholtz, relegated to the Lost & Found for 15 years due to his extreme laxity is the only choice to sub for Capt. Block on his forced two week vacation. The boys mistake his absence from active duty thinking it's because he was too tough!

27. 27. The Courtship of Sylvia Schnauser

    Mar 25, 1962

    Leo and Sylvia Schnauser decide to renew their vows with a large wedding ceremony.

28. 28. The Auction

    Apr 1, 1962

    The boys of the 53rd Precinct pull together to buy Captain Block the matching Aleutian Ceremonial Chair he desires to complete his set.

29. 29. Quiet! We're Thinking

    Apr 8, 1962

    Gunther and Lucille's 11-year-old nephew Marvin, in the Big Apple for a Boy Scout event, helps Toody and Muldoon crack the cases that have flummoxed New York's Finest.

30. 30. I Love Lucille

    Apr 22, 1962

    Lucille dyes her hair to get Gunther to notice her, and when he finally does, look out.

About

The misadventures of two of New York's finest in the 53rd precinct in the Bronx. Toody, the short, stocky and dim-witted one, either saves the day or messes things up, much to the chagrin of Muldoon, the tall, lanky and smart one.

First aired

1961-09-17

Era

60s

Length

2 seasons · 60 episodes

Genres

Comedy

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